Internet Intelligence?

  • Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you even tried.
  • A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what is Rocky Road ice cream made out of?
  • If space is a vacuum, who changes the bag?
  • If swimming is good for your shape, then why are all the whales so fat?
  • Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
  • How do you get off a non-stop flight?
  • How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
  • If a jogger could run at the speed of sound could he still hear his Walkman?
  • If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
  • If tin whistles are made of tin what are fog horns made of?
  • If you jog backwards will you gain weight?
  • Why is that time of day with the slowest traffic called “rush” hour?
  • Experience is something you never get until just after you need it.
  • For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
  • No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  • Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?
  • Why do they call it “chili” if it’s hot?

AND FINALLY

  • Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!

The preceding was provided as a risk management service, as a little humor can go a long way in reducing stress.

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